If you are a foreign man on the prowl for a Shanghainese bride, we've got good news for you: kung fu star Jackie Chan isn't going to stand in your way. In fact, if you send him your contact info -- and a photo, we assume -- he might even hook you up himself. It's all part of his diabolical plan to dropkick the globe with Chinese culture. (His attempt to accomplish this through mediocre movies has apparently failed.) Global wire services are running stories based on comments Chan made during the Shanghai International Film Festival. This is from the AP:

"We can encourage more foreigners to marry Shanghai ladies so their children will be able to speak Chinese," Chan said at the Shanghai International Film Festival, the South China Morning Post reported on its front page.

"It will help spread Chinese culture far and wide," he reportedly said.

The paper reported that Chan didn’t say why his proposal singled out Shanghai women, and he offered no suggestions about how to implement his plan.

While we're not sure if a single comment made at a film festival constitues an offical "plan," Chan's statement did strike us as a bit odd. And we're not sure who will be offended most: foreigners, Chinese or women in general. At least Chan doesn't come off quite as bad as Russian nationalist Vladimir Zhirinovsky, who recently drafted a bill that would write into law severe penalties for Russian girls or women who “unpatriotically” choose to marry a foreigner.

What men does Zhirinovsky fear the most? Why Chinese men, of course. This is from Scotland's Sunday Herald: "He sees the biggest threat coming from Chinese men, many of whom have settled in Russia’s far east with Russian brides who appreciate the fact that their foreign husbands tend not to drink alcohol. 'If we don’t react now, in 50 or 100 years, the Chinese and the other Asian nations will be masters in our house and the Russians will become service staff.'"

The horror.

Face The Truth by Stephen Malkmus

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