'22 Ways to Live The Vacuous Life in Shanghai'

Good ol' Micah, who hasn't posted on Shanghaiist for quite some time, is busy working on a translation of the above titled essay. Here's how it begins:

即使你很高傲，即使你很懒散，即使你很羞涩，即使你很偏激，只要你来到上海，而又不想自我封闭离群索居，总会沾染上几丝上海独有的小资情调。假如你喜欢上海，而又不是愤青，熟读以下文字，可以帮你提前热身，让你尽早溶入上海的风花雪夜中。

No matter whether you are a dandy or a vagrant, whether a church mouse or always the center of attention, when you come to Shanghai, even if you lock yourself in solitary confinement, you can't help but be infected by the city's unique bourgeois spirit. So if you like Shanghai and you're feeling a little rebellious, take a look at the following text; it'll warm you up and help you ease into Shanghai's vacuous lifestyle.

[去衡山路散步] 闻名遐迩的衡山路，最美丽的时光不是午夜，而是傍晚。这时候，街上华灯初上，行人稀少，沿着宽宽的梧桐大道轻盈漫步，只见西式的洋房、古典的教堂、街头的公园、私人的小院、还有那散落各处的酒吧和咖啡馆，全都披上了一层迷人的华彩，让你仿佛身处静谧的仙境。

[Take a walk on Hengshan Rd] World-famous Hengshan Rd is at it's most beautiful in the evening and at night. At that time, Chinese lamps are hung, and pedestrians are few; as you walk along the broad sycamore-lined avenue, your view is filled with colonial manors, historic churches, street-corner parks and private gardens, and finally bars and coffee shops scattered about along the way. Everything is draped with an enchanting excitement, as if you're body had been carried away to a peaceful fairyland.

It goes on with other vacuous things like: Give your eyes a treat at Xiangyang Rd; Pocket some DVDs at Zixi Rd; Take a date to Häagen-Dazs; Meet at the entrance to Parkson's; Karaoke at Cashbox; Book hunt at a Jifeng Bookstore; Cultivate refinement at the Shanghai Museum; Search for inspiration at Ikea; Listen to music at M-box ...

It goes on from there. He's not done translating it yet.

Photo from sunnyberyl.livedoor.biz.