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The following is an excerpt from an actual IM conversation that took place between Shanghaiist editor Dan Washburn and this Shanghaiist contributor between 8:11 pm and 8:27 pm on Sunday, March 19. The subject? An ad posted on SmartShanghai advertising the launch of an unfortunately named night club in Shanghai and the arrival of one of boxing's greatest figures (prior to the early 1990s) -- Mike Tyson -- to our fair city.
Wait. Mike Tyson? Shanghai?
Snatch?
Yes, it all seems to be true.
Maybe.
Jeff Jorve: snatchnightclub.com
Jeff: !!!
Jeff: that is pure gold
Jeff: Mike Tyson!
Jeff: Iron Mike!
Dan Washburn: he is really coming?
Dan: by the way, Snatch is an awful name for a club
Dan: where is this place?
Jeff: watch the video
Dan: am i to believe eddie murphy will also be there? [now referencing poster. more posters here and here.]
Jeff: eddie murphy?
Dan: click on "news"
Jeff: eddie murphy!
Jeff: janet jackson!
Jeff: mariah carey!
Jeff: shaq!
Dan: mid season
Jeff: in the middle of the NBA season!
Jeff: that is pull
Dan: this cant be happening
Jeff: Snatch must be an awesome club if Shaq is willing to fly out, with the playoffs right around the corner
Dan: janet jackson is fat by the way
Dan: have you seen recent pics?
Jeff: !!!
Jeff: what?
Dan: she has put on a lot of weight
[pause to look at Janet Jackson's pics, then back to Iron Mike]
Jeff: Mike Tyson will be there Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night
Jeff: grand opening March 30th
Dan: so Tyson will really be here?
Jeff: not sure
Jeff: Ruijin Nan Lu, near Xujiahui Lu
Jeff: Haixing Guangchang
Jeff: 海兴广场
Jeff: free parking!
Dan: he is so hard up for money. it is sad
Jeff: we are still not sure that he is coming
Jeff: but he might be
Dan: that video was long
Jeff: ...
Dan: he said so much
Jeff: I know
Jeff: very informative
Dan: who is greg lites?
Jeff: I am laughing out loud now
Jeff: I have no idea who Greg Lites is
Dan: "the adult playground"
Jeff: yes....
Dan: maybe it is supposed to be called Snatch
Jeff: yeah, who knows?
Dan: "join mike tyson"
Dan: what does that mean?
Jeff: stand in solidarity with Mike Tyson
Jeff: maybe Snatch is the next best thing in whores' bars
Jeff: I think we should publish this conversation as a post
Jeff: up to "maybe Snatch is the next best thing in whores' bars"
Dan: think he is coming?
Dan: if he is coming, they are awful PR people. if he isn't, they are awesome
Dan: and liars
Jeff: awesome liars
Jeff: my favorite kind of people
Dan: we should publish this
Dan: edited to make us look better
Of course, all we had to do was click on the "About Us" link on the Snatch website for answers to all of our questions:
- Who is Greg Lites? He is "co-owner of the most successful club promotion company in the U.S. - Icon Entertainment."
- Why name a club "Snatch"? It's "a name that symbolizes celebrities, gorgeous girls and the hottest club music on the planet."
- Is Mike Tyson really coming? "The opening of this amazing venue will be Thursday, March 30, 2006 as Shanghai pays tribute to the Greatest Boxer of All Time and Host to SNATCH's Gala Grand Opening Weekend – Mike Tyson."
So we guess he is coming. Here's a photo of what appears to by Tyson and Lites with a contract. And here you can enter a contest to get your photo taken with Iron Mike:
Each contestant my (sic) submit ONE email entry that explains, IN 5 SENTENCES OR LESS why Mike Tyson has Chaiman Mao Tsu-tung's tattoo on his arm.
This is all very bizarre. We just wonder why we haven't heard much about this. Googling "Mike Tyson" and "Shanghai" turns up next to nothing that is relevant. This event is less than two weeks away. Shouldn't people (other than Shanghaiist editors and contributors) be talking about this?
It's Iron Mike!
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On a side note, I used to play Mike Tyson's Punch Out! all the time for the NES. I only beat Mike Tyson once. It was a sweet victory.
Then he got sent to jail, and Nintendo stopped making Mike Tyson's Punch Out! and just made Punch Out!, which was the exact same game except for the final bout was not with Tyson, it was with Mr. Dream.
Mr. Dream? Who are the ad wizards who came up with that one?
I don't know what circles you guys hang out in, but everyone's been talking about the new Club Snatch. Used to be Club One. Mike Tyson is supposed to be the celebrity guest for the opening, and they plan to bring in a different celeb every month or whatever ... that's the rumor that's been going around for a few months now.
Yeah, it's really friggin' bizarre....
this is just sooo....SHANGHAI? Janet jackson?? Maria Carey? EDDIE Murphy? Well, question marks for now.
Anyway, Ralph Fiennes, Steven Spielberg, Tom Cruise...hangs on the Bund.
well, since washed up baseball players can find a new lease on life in Japan, it seems only natural that Shanghai can become a place for washed up american celebs...
who was the guy before mike tyson on the video game?
I think the order was something like this, off the top of my head:
Mike Tyson
Super Macho Man
Mr. Sandman
Bald Bull (2)
Soda Popinsky
Don Flamenco (2)
Bald Bull
Piston Honda (2)
Great Tiger
King Hippo
Don Flamenco
Piston Honda
Von Kaiser
Glass Joe
Best character? I loved Soda Popinksy. He was a Russian lefty addicted to soda pop. Genius name, genius character...
The name 'Snatch' fits perfectly to the 'Slit Bar' that opened just a few blocks away from Snatch at Zhaojiabang lu/Xiangyang lu. These names make me shiver in anticipation if this will 'inspire the next' (Hitachi).
Hai Xin Building is a crappy building in a crappy location (I used to have an office in that building). You got to offer free parking there, else people won't show at all, but I wonder if Shanghai will legalize drunk driving to cater to 'Snatch' patrons.
I just tried that other new place, 'Cunt' on Caoxi Lu. Not so good. From the photos, Snatch looks like a nice big club, but could the promo be more ghetto?
Of all the people to get to open a club, Why MIKE! He's a freak! Always has been, always will be.
By the way... The answer to the contest (according to Google & http://home.netcom.com/~mrlucky/tysontat.html): Mike Tyson was so impressed by the writings of Mao Tze Tung during his stay in prison that he had Mao's visage tattooed on his right arm. Arthur Ashe's face resides on Tyson's left arm for the same reason.
That still doesn't explain why he's got Tina Yothers' face tattooed on his right ass cheek...
I read all of the above in a childish excited rush and for a second thought that Macho Man Randy Savage was coming to Shanghai.
If Eddie Murphy comes here I will definitely go and listen to some jokes about how white people are so up-tight. Does he still do those?