This hilarious post is from Danwei (or is it now called “Asianizm”?). Apparently, Adolf Hitler is trying to get an English teaching job for kids that don’t read good and want to learn other stuff (bonus points, readers, if you got that reference) in Beijing. The former Fuhrer wrote this: “I am a 117 year old German expat who is looking for a teaching job in das Chaoyang District. Preferably in ein Kindergarten. I have international experience from my previous job where I had the chance to go from London to Moscow.” And this is the ad that he replied to, from That’s Beijing:
Friday morning job in near Chaoyang park (April 6/06)
Teaching university students business English
NO ASIAN PEOPLE, NO LATIN PEOPLE, NO FRENCH PEOPLE, NO SPANISH PEOPLE, NO ARABIC PEOPLE (NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKERS ONLY)
NO BLACK PEOPLE
NO AUSTRALIANS (BAD ACCENT)
IF YOU ARE BRITISH PLEASE has GOOD TEETH
AMERICANS PLEASE BE TALL AND PRETTY
WE PREFER BLOND HAIR BLUE EYES
AT LEAST 1.7 meters
NO FAT PEOPLE PLEASE
THIS SCHOOL IS LOOKING TO HIRE THE BEST
(BRITISH and AMERICANS ONLY)…
Unfortunately job ads like this really do exist in China (lots of them). And Shanghaiist, an undesirable Asian-American with flawless (spoken) English has to say, we’ve been on the receiving end of this kind of bigotry. We feel that we’ve unjustly been denied some jobs because people don’t believe that our English could be any good, even though Princeton University is proof that there are in fact some educated people in New Jersey (where we grew up). This ad just pisses us off. You Aryans (well, the tall and pretty ones with blue eyes and blond hair) don’t know what it’s like, man. Since when is a sterling Asian-American chap worth no more than a short, fat, ugly schlub of an Australian (with a bad accent)? Especially when we’re so not fat and regularly use products shown in creepy skin-whitening commercials to lighten our complexion. One thing’s for sure — even if they did want us, we wouldn’t stoop to being no Uncle Tong for 25,000 RMB a month!
Read the original ad here and Adolf H.’s reply here.