While scanning some headlines today, one jumped out at us: “SHANGHAI NECK-LICK.” It’s from the LA Weekly, a story about attending a punk rock show:
Standing at the rim of the violence, I was groped by a drunk punker, complete with a shanghai neck-lick. My contempt for all-things-androgen reached its peak, and, smearing the saliva off my collar, I mined my purse for keys.
Wow. We’ve lived in Shanghai four years and never once received a Shanghai Neck-Lick (not one that we’d admit to, anyway). Guess that means we’re pretty lame … or that the writer simply made up the maneuver, which seems to be the case. Googling “shanghai neck lick” turns up absolutely nothing. Googling shanghai “neck lick” gets links to seven pages, mostly German sites or porn sites or German porn sites.
So maybe it doesn’t exist. Still, the Shanghai Neck Licks would be a great name for a fantasy football team.
This got us curious. What slang phrases did exist that incorporated the word “Shanghai”? We turned to our trusty friend Urban Dictionary, and found a decent amount of new terminology — most of which, we’re afraid, has to do with bodily orifices and bodily fluids.
So if you are the type that gets offended by dirty words and dirty sex PLEASE DON’T READ ANY FURTHER. The rest of you, click the link below to be taken on a bizarre little Shanghai language lesson. (But don’t say we didn’t warn you.)
Here is what we learned from Urban Dictionary today:
- Shanghai: “Term describing a type of kidnapping. Back in the 17th and 18th century in back alleys behind orphanages and bars there were trap doors that were watched and opened on drunken people or wandering children,then the children or drunks were beaten up until unconscious and brought aboard a ship to do slave labor out at sea until they died.”
- Shanghai: “To steal or take without permission.”
- Shanghai: “Historically the Paris or the New York of the Far East…now a poor man’s Taipei. The Bund’s still cool, but not as cool as before (too yuppified).”
- Shanghai: “The honourable, graceful city which is soon going to outpace New York. Its quality of education, especially in junior and senior high schools, is unparalleled. And behold, this will pay off later on.”
- Shanghai: “According to the 4rthur.com dictionary, to simultaneously masturbate and cry.”
- Shanghai: “This is the term for rogering a Chinese woman’s backpassage.”
- Shanghai headache: “Similar to Jungle Fever, Shanghai headache is the condition wherein a non-Asian (usually a white guy) obsesses over/primarily (or only) dates Asians. See also Asian Fever, Rice King, and Fanboy.”
- Shanghai Meat-bun: “The act of one man placing his penis on the buttocks of an unconsious person, then proceeding to ejaculate on this unsuspecting individuals ass-crack.”
- Shanghai Special: “A high class maneuver accomplished in the following manner: going to a restaurant (preferably fast food). Then proceeding to take one’s drink cup to the bathroom ejaculating into said cup. The person then makes their way back to the table and subtily switches their drink cup with that of a friend’s.”
- Shanghai Steamer: “Executing a Cleveland Steamer from a great distance above the intended victim. This will enable the log to hang and swing with the grace of a chandelier in a cheap horror movie, before plummeting to it’s death.”
- Shanghai Surprise: “Going home with a casual sex buddy only to find that she/he is not the gender you had once believed.”
- Shanghai Surprise: “During Sexual intercourse from behind, the penis is withdrawn, the male spits on his partners back, and begins to vigourously masterbate, and when his partner turns around, he ejaculates in her face.”
- Shanghai Surprise: “To spunk in someone’s hair during the night. When they wake up, their hair will have the consistency of wonton noodles.”
- Shanghai’d: “To post on a forum, only to find out that someone posted the same thing seconds before you.”
- Shanghaied: “The process of your life changing when your in Shanghai.”
- Shanghailarious: “When something is hilarious and is related to Asia.”
- Shanghainese: “The language natively spoken in Shanghai, China. Unintelligable from the official language, Mandarin Chinese. The ability to speak Shanghainese with flare makes one a true urbanite in this metropolis. The native Shanghainese generally have a lower opinion of other Chinese those who don’t speak the language.”
And now, we will go take a shower.