Austinist knows that few things in life are scarier than zombies, people with way too much money, and politicians who try too hard to be funny. Slightly less scary, depending on whom you ask, are indie film makers, screenwriters, R-Rated movies, and indie rockers.
Torontoist, which just had its second birthday, proves what we already know: that Canadians aren’t all that scary. Unless they’re undead, dancing Canadians. Or mayoral candidates. Because, how frightening can you be if you end up writing about apples?
DCist knows that few things in life are scarier than the right-hand side of a menu. Also scary? When the underdogs win. Appropriately enough, DCist thinks you should know who DJ Spooky is. And the MPD is combatting spooky characters on the streets.
Parisist also knows how scary paying for a meal can be. Especially when you also have a ticket to pay (post in French). But the really scary thing is that this week marked the first anniversary of the deaths that started last year’s riots. Fortunately, two artists are doing their part to try to prevent such things from happening in the future.
Phillyist knows few things in life are spookier than people who take their music too seriously (and the people who don’t know about such people), the gay invasion, marriage, death, and Rick Santorum, or wondering how your taxi driver is keeping himself occupied. Decidedly not spooky? Well-lit neighborhoods.
Londonist has us positively quaking in our boots, while visions of inter-species cannibalism and serial poopers dance in our heads. Also scary? The fact that Jeff Goldblum could appear any minute, making movies where this is what the future looks like. Some people may be afraid of slides, but here in the -ist-a-verse, we think they’re just good clean fun. Same with Moleskines.
Chicagoist seems to think that the Windy City can be a pretty scary place. That may have something to do with the Mike Ditka impersonators running the Chicago Marathon. But then, we’re bloggers. It’s in our nature to fear running. And hey, fire can be pretty damn scary, especially when it has serious ramifications for a city’s transit system. We find ourselves suddenly petrified of edible paper, but if Google succeeds in its bid for world domination, paper is one of those things we probably won’t have to worry much about.
LAist is frightened by its inability to come up with a Halloween costume. But that’s not nearly as scary as the lengths some folks will go to to celebrate All Hallows’ Eve. And look! It’s the guy behind one of the creepiest Tim Burton scenes ever.
Gothamist is scared that it may get some neighbors that will make living conditions intolerable. They’re also scared of politicians who want to make mountains out of molehills and sanitation workers who do the opposite of their jobs. Scariest thing of all? That getting rid of cars in Times Square would increase tourist pedestrian traffic and make it even harder to get around. Not at all spooky, just pretty effin’ cool: Gothamist at CMJ.
Houstonist does not share LAist’s pain. They do, however, like their dismembered body parts to be displayed without shame. Frightening to any Texan is the accidental destruction of a taco stand, especially when it’s a result of human error. Frightening to one particular Texan is that Oz was a lot like real life. Frightening to everybody? Getting shot.
Shanghaiist thinks it’s pretty scary when the government can hijack a concert or when your booze can kill you. And nothing’s really scarier than waking up in a bathtub full of ice, sans a kidney or two. Except for maybe the cult of internet celebrity.
Seattlest is terrified of its city’s new slogan. They’re also just a little bit scared that heteronormative sex can get them arrested for trespassing one of these days, especially if they score that date with the cute, single DJ who they know is lookin’ for love.
Bostonist presents us with something we thought only existed in scary stories told ’round the campfire: Massachussets Republicans. Also, Bostonians are naturally scary-smart.
SFist has some pretty scary-intense commenters, but no blogger can be as scary as a concerned mother. And even that’s not as scary as good old-fashioned bad parenting.
And winning the award for the week’s least scary -ist? Sampaist. Because ain’t nothing scary about hot chicks and cool cars (post in Portuguese).
Compiled and edited by Jillian Ashley Blair Ivey.
Video posted on Torontoist. Photos by Flickr user Sam23 on Londonist and Flickr user Mecredis on Houstonist.