We honestly have no idea (really, honey, we don’t), but some guy named Professor Goya recently had this to say to a reporter for Japan’s Shukan Taishu:
Right now, Shanghai is the hottest spot in Asia — believe it. It’s got those famous karaoke clubs with hostesses, massage parlors and erotic baths. It’s evolved beyond anything we Japanese can imagine.
Beyond anything the Japanese can imagine? Really? We didn’t think that was possible.
Anyway, the story involves Goya-sensei and the reporter, his “understudy,” undergoing an “in-depth orientation into the sensual delights of China’s largest city.” Highlights:
- Shanghai authorities usually take a “hands-off approach to hands-on lechery.” But be careful leading up to October 1 and Spring Festival.
- An “inexpensive, but somewhat disappointing” quickie at a Korean-style massage in Hongqiao. Cost: RMB 300.
- At a “deluxe sauna” that shares a building with a Japanese restaurant in Gubei, a bath, foot massage and 60-minute “special massage” costs RMB 620. You could also upgrade to “deluxe” for RMB 1,000 and get 90 minutes of treatment from two “masseuses.”
- There is a “water-and-tongue” treatment called binghuo or “ice fire” that made the reporter scream, “Ooohhh sugoi!”
- There is something called an “antigravity blowjob.”
- Afterwards, johns relax in the “recovery room,” eat won-tons and talk about “pearl-implanted penis probes.”
- Goya believes that, using Japan as a role model, China is destined to become a “Pink business advanced nation.” Congratulations, China!
 We don’t really call our wife “honey.”