The China Daily translation staff has a case of the sillies! Earlier today it got a little “freaky.” Now it’s getting handy:
Donations can be in money, goods, blood, organs and bone marrow. But what happens when you mix heartfelt charity with a handful of self-gratification? Sperm donation.
An article entitled College students ready to donate sperm explains, “sperm donation is not just about walking into a place, having a pleasant five minutes with yourself and handing over your happiness in a cup,” a sentiment surprisingly similar to the one expressed on this website (second paragraph).
But back to the issue, erm, at hand. Chinese donation requires a high sperm count and background checks into unspecified details of one’s life that may or may not be related to virility. Chen Zhenwen, director of Beijing’s sole state-approved sperm bank notes, “Many of them [our sperm donors] are Beijing Olympic volunteers.”
Young men are also more likely to ignore the Taoist myth that “one drop of semen equals ten drops of blood,” the view at the heart of such titillating fluid-preserving practices as injaculation, which may or may not set your prostates aflame.
Why so much attention on sperm right now? Maybe China Daily is responding to Shanghaiist’s comment boards. After last week’s post on blood donation brought expat fears of Chinese needle use to light, anonymous guest #14 tut-tutted the fearful foreigners:
blood donating in china is much safer than u guys sleeping around with hookers in china, u morons!
Sadly, state-approved sperm banks do not allow deposits from foreigners, and donation to third party agencies is illegal.
Chen asked students to be wary of “sperm hunters” on the campus, however. Such people can take students for a ride. Students should always verify the identity of “agents” before agreeing to donate.
The China Daily refrains from elucidating the exact nature of that “ride,” but suffice to say, if you are ever approached in a dark alleyway by a cup-wielding capitalist… Just Say No.
You’re better off waiting for Andy Lau’s donation, anyway.
China Daily: College students ready to donate sperm
Picture via tinadonna