Not content with sinking its rabid fangs into our children, our metro system and our optometrists, it seems the sinister cabal behind the Hello Kitty brand now wants to ensnare 50 percent of YOU, dear readers.
According to a strangely supine BBC report (proxy needed), a new “macho” Kitty is on its way. It’s target: all you menfolk out there. Here’s what fell out of the Hello Kitty PR litter tray:
“Young men these days grew up with character goods,” said a spokesman. “That generation feels no embarrassment about wearing Hello Kitty.”
Continued the BBC (who may well have been at the catnip themselves, judging from the meaningless PR bilge throughout the article):
The shape of Hello Kitty was slightly changed for a more rugged, cool look to appeal to men in their teens and early 20s, Sanrio said.
For example, a picture of the cat on a 4,095 yen ($36, £18) black T-shirt has the words, “hello kitty”, instead of the usual dots for the eyes and nose.
What all this actually entails is anyone’s guess. But the stuff’s going on worldwide sale next month, so no doubt Hello Kitty will be coming to a macho man bag or pimped Mazda near you soon.
And just in case you were in any doubt as to the evil heart that beats within that innocuous looking white cat, the following from a previous BBC report, quoting a possibly deranged professor of anthropology:
“There is something going on here,” says Professor Yano. “Call it neo-feminism if you will, that allows grown-up women in their thirties to retreat into girly feminism that is cute and spunky at the same time.
“The inclusion of sexiness into Hello Kitty only speaks to the strength of the image.
“In effect, Hello Kitty can be anything and anyone. A few years back there was even Hello Kitty as a kamikaze pilot.”
KAMIKAZE PILOT!? We tried a cursory search for actual verification of this, but couldn’t find anything. Are any readers in possession of such a thing?
If you or a loved one are worried about sinister cartoon feline-related cults, try visiting www.kittyhell.com.
Image from www.kittyhell.com