A few instant gems from the clip:
“This is a testament to the progress of the Chinese people. Today we sent a man into space fully conscious, and without shackles.”
“China’s first manned mission into space occurred when political prisoner Yang Liwei was knocked unconscious in his cell and awoke to find himself in orbit.”
“They did not need to use attack dogs to get him into the spacecraft.”
NOTE: The Onion is a satire website, ie., it is NOT meant to be taken seriously.