One time back in college a few of my less then sober friends decided to pilfer a bottle of Grey Goose from a neighboring bar. After snuggling the victim into someone’s coat and brazenly walking out of the restaurant, they returned home and triumphantly opened the bottle to discover it was filled with putrid water that stank of old socks and incrimination. Karma’s a bitch, no?
Well, looks like the payback gods are visiting another group of equally classless and moronic thieves. This time, the scene of the crime is one of the most beloved restaurants in all of Shanghai. Last night I was informed by Cantina Agave owner Kelley Lee that two nights ago, a group of morons snuck a 21,000 RMB bottle of Grand Marnier Special Edition out of the restaurant. Unfortunately for them, the entire heist was caught on security camera, and one of the geniuses in the gang paid for a portion of the bill with credit card. Both Chinese police and idiot police have been called in, reports have been filed with both, and authorities are going to start chasing after credit card information tonight.
In a great gesture of magnanimity, Kelley and co-owner Raffe have said they are willing to give a “Get Out of Deportation Card” if and only if the bottle is returned to the restaurant by 6 pm tonight, untouched and unmolested. So if you or someone you know is one of the clueless douchebags in this photo (you can see the female suspect bundling the bottle under her jacket), better check on the status of the bottle. Looks like Karma might still be on holiday, after all. Once the bell tolls on 6 pm and the bottle is absent, however, look out! I have a feeling the lowlifes will have worse to deal with than snorting nasty sock water.