Oh boy, last night’s World Cup game between North Korea and Portugal sure was killer wasn’t it? As we saw the last ball, GOAL 7 (to 0, in case you didn’t watch), scream past the DPRK goalie’s hands, a ton of questions raced through our minds: How would this be broadcast in Pyongyang? What will happen to these poor North Korean players? How will their Chinese fans react?
It seems that China Hush found the answers to all these questions.
How would this be broadcast in Pyongyang? Unfortunately, because this was supposed to be some kind of grudge match, North Korea v. Portugal was actually aired live in the DPRK! For the first time! At least until GOAL 4, when a Korean Central Broadcasting commentor had to scramble to say “The Portuguese won the game and now have four points. We are ending our live broadcast now,” before cutting to footage of factory workers and engineers praising North Korean leader Kim Jong Il.
What will happen to these poor North Korean players? They will be sent to the coal mines. Well, not really. Or at least, we don’t know. It’s a rumor that, like many rumors about North Korea, may only be verified long after the current regime ends. (If you’re interested, China Hush has a great summary of how the rumor came to be.)
How will their Chinese fans react? Well, chances are the ones that were paid to be there now get to go home. Their “fans” on the net though, have been busy photoshopping North Korean players into coal mining outfits. Ironically, the most photoshopped guy is also the person least likely to be punished in any way: Jong Tae-Se, the guy who started crying when the DPRK anthem played even though he was born in Japan and normally plays for Kawasaki Frontale in the J-League.
The hilarious photoshops (though I’m sure everyone does hope nobody got sent to the coal mines) below: