The nightmare is now officially over, hooray! Vending machines that dispense gold bars will debut in Beijing on the 23rd of September, with bars weighing up to 2.5 kilograms. The machines will apparently work just as normal ATM’s do, only with the added sense of security that comes from leaving an ATM with an assault-grade brick of gold in one’s back pocket. The machines will accept cash and credit cards in exchange for gold, and will be available in upscale clubs and private banks. Which is great, because we always thought putting an expensive cellphone on a table at a bar to show off was so October to mid-December of 2009. At last, an alternative. Rejoice.