All the top stories from the past 7 days:
- A young Chinese woman attempting suicide by jumping into West Lake was pulled free by a very professional American tourist, winning praise from Hangzhou residents. This incident is just additional confirmation of the unspoken rule that foreigners save the day in China from epileptic attacks to airport stabbings.
- In the gross-out statistic of the week category, we discovered that 20% of Shanghai’s swimming pools contain excessive levels of urine. A problem perpetuated by children and adults alike, we have to assume that with that much free flowing pee the water has got to be at least sauna level temperatures. Sorry for that imagery.
- Our favorite Shanzhai restaurant, Obama Fried Chicken, has had to suffer through so much since we discovered their presence on Weibo a few weeks back. Recently, they changed their name to UFO before deciding to temporarily close up shop due to the massive influx of tourists and reporters seeking a story. Apparently there’s such a thing as too much publicity after all!
- With all the Occupy Wall Street protests going on in the world, we’re sure many readers enjoyed the tingle of schadenfreude while watching this 17 million RMB luxury boat sink into the muddy Yellow River just moments after being launched. Ah yes, the lovely sight of squirming red-faced millionaires.
- More rare than any UFO sighting, former CCP President Jiang Zemin made waves by appearing at the 100th Xinhai anniversary celebrations. Flying in the face of rumors from earlier this summer, we like to imagine at some point he was quoted saying “The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.”
- We were hardly surprised to learn that Shanghai metro security scanners, the evil devices that assume everything from shopping bags to camera satchels contains some sort of WMD, have been discovered to be more of a danger to our safety than terrorists! The reason? Because no one has ever bothered to test whether the machines or safe, meaning we’ve been exposed to radiation and emissions of ozone and nitric oxide!
- We also brought you photos of the ingenious methods Chinese drivers are using to avoid traffic cameras (hint: Maxipads are quite versatile tools), a slightly immoral collection of shots taken from Weibo’s self-proclaimed “Loli Day,” and a ridiculously expensive hotel suite located in Huaxi Village’s newest