By Cal Widdall
‘Anti-American warrior’ Sima Nan (司马南) has lost his latest battle… with an escalator. The media figure, famous for his rants against the U.S., was visiting Washington, D.C. (located in America, last we checked) and managed to get his head stuck between an airport escalator rail and an approaching section of wall at Dulles International Airport.
Sima has claimed he will sue the airport, as there was no sign to warn him he shouldn’t stick his head off the side of the escalator as a large, concrete ceiling neared. Apparently some people do need those signs.
Before boarding his flight to the U.S., he posted the following on Weibo (translated by Tea Leaf Nation):
“America is the enemy of all the people in the world. It produces IOUs (U.S. dollars) in exchange for real products, and exploits countries around the world. It has planted economic roots on all continents. Its energy consumption level is more than ten times the world average. It’s like a giant tumor. Its military bases are all around the world. All wars after World War II were instigated, engineered or started by America. People around the world and governments of different countries are questioning [American policy]…”
Chinese netizens have reacted rather unsympathetically towards the outspoken essayist, who has been busy updating his microblog from hospital. Many have labelled the incident a ‘Chinese New Year Comedy Special’, whilst others have congratulated the C.I.A. for their successful development of an artificially intelligent escalator.
We’ve no doubt it’s only a matter of time before we hear a scathing response from Sima Nan. Perhaps he’ll allege that American exceptionalism doesn’t exist, at least when it comes to escalator safety.
Or maybe we should be bracing our
necks -selves for a vigorous order to “Shut up!” sometime soon.