By Cal Widdall
In a major embarassment to North Korea and the country’s new leader, Kim Jong-un (also known as Üter Zörker), their controversial rocket launch has not exactly gone to plan.
The Glorious Nation briefly managed to get its rocket up, but only for one underwhelming minute before it plunged back down again, shamefully failing to enter into orbit. No words of comfort were offered to orbit, who has always been insecure about the size of her curvature and may or may not believe she was responsible. Instead, North Korea slumped into an icy silence lasting for hours, before finally admitting to the world what had happened.
Launched earlier today, the rocket’s sole purpose was not, as international reaction may have led you to believe, solely to anger the rest of the world. It was also supposed to be a patriotic commemoration of the 100th anniversary of their founder Kim Il-sung’s birth date, showcasing the nation’s strength. Instead the launch… erm, showcased the nation’s strength pretty well actually.
BBC’s China correspondent Damian Grammaticas was on-site and tweeted this observation earlier:
Now in bizarre situation our #NKorea minders asking ME to tell THEM if rocket has launched. Went up 4 hours ago but they have no information
— Damian Grammaticas (@dngbbc) April 13, 2012
Unfortunately the lack of a successful launch party means that local hospitals may temporarily be without containers to use for IV drips. Gulags on the other hand, are sure to be freshly supplied with new labourers by the end of the day.