By James Griffiths
Everyone’s favourite on-again-off-again alternative to the Nobel Peace Prize is back from the dead, proving once and for all that you can’t kill a really good idea.
The Confucius Peace Prize, the Ross-and-Rachel of global awards for promoting peace, was launched two-years-ago when an insignificant Scandinavian country had the temerity to hurt China’s feelings by nominating
respected and widely admired human rights activist dirty traitor Liu Xiaobo for the Nobel Peace Prize. The inaugural prize was awarded to Lien Chan, former vice president of Taiwan, who when questioned claimed never to have heard of the prize, and didn’t show up to collect it.
In September of 2011 the Ministry of Culture woke up to the fact that this was a really terrible idea and scrapped the prize, but a breakaway group of
ridiculous blowhards peace lovers decamped to Hong Kong to set-up the China International Peace Studies Centre, where they intended to continue with the awards. As if this wasn’t confusing enough, the Ministry of Culture backed another group to start up a new prize, but this did nothing but further rile-up Liu Haofeng, the executive chairman of the “original” team.
The PR trainwreck continued when the peace prize was eventually awarded to Vladimir Putin, the frequently topless ‘butcher of Chechnya‘, who also said he’d never heard of the prize, so several hotties were selected by China to collect the award on his behalf.
This latest Confucius Peace Prize 2012, seems to be the handiwork of the original organizers, including totally sane person and lover of taxation without representation, Kong Qingdong, a “descendant” of Confucius himself.
Nominees for the Confucius Peace Prize 2012 once again include a few recycled names *yawn*. They are:
- Bill Gates, Microsoft founder and philanthropist
- Yuan Longping, creator of ‘hybrid rice’
- Gyaltsen Norbu, the Panchen Lama (according to Beijing)
- Wang Dingguo, sole-surviving Red Army woman to have taken part in the Long March
- Tang Yijie, Chinese philosopher and Peking University professor
- Yingluck Shinawatra, Prime Minister of Thailand
- Kofi Annan, former UN Secretary-General
- Ban Ki-Moon, current UN Secretary-General (organizers seem to have been running out of ideas for nominees at this point)
Note: While it’s fun to mock the Confucius Peace Prize, it’s important to remember that the Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to Barack Obama in 2009, whose administration has continued the war in Afghanistan and dramatically increased the use of aerial drones in carrying out extra-judicial killings, and to Henry Kissinger in 1973, an out-and-out war criminal; so neither award has much in the way of integrity.