Image credit: @42andpointless.
Here at Shanghaiist we’re starting to get worried about our colleagues at the People’s Daily. We fear that listening and transcribing hour upon hour of boring speeches at the 18th Party Congress is starting to take its toll. How else can one explain this article, explaining the “meaning of applauses”?
The final round of applause, which sounded more determined, enthusiastic and prolonged than the previous 40 rounds, burst out as Hu Jintao finally finished his report at the opening ceremony of the 18th National Congress of the Communist Party of China.
Notice the word ‘finally’ in that paragraph, indicating that this article is not the sycophantic propaganda that it seems, but a coded and desperate plea for help from an unfortunate Daily staffer forced to explain how clapping indicates support of Communism.
The piece actually get’s quite poetic, as reporter Ye Xiaowen flexes his writing muscles by starting four paragraphs with the phrase “The applause is a reflection of” to build to a beatific crescendo of adulatory ass-kissing:
The applause is a reflection of unwavering confidence.
The applause is a reflection of firm support.
The applause is a reflection of common aspiration and resolution.
The applause is a reflection of the unremitting struggles and hard work of people with a clear-minded head and strong willpower.
The applause is a reflection of Chinese people’s confidence in the socialist road, theory and system with Chinese characteristics, which is the reason why China, a developing country with 1.3 billion people and 56 ethnic groups, can maintain long-term political stability and social harmony, safeguard national unity, and move forward in a continued and rapid speed.
As a retort to the People’s Daily, here’s a crowd applauding Rick Perry for having more of his citizens killed than any other Governor in American history, applause don’t mean shit: