According to Roman legend, Virginia was a young girl who was killed by her father in order to save her from seduction by a corrupt government official. One Virginia in Hong Kong may wish her father had killed her sister after she posted a deranged rant online about the FEAR and ANTICIPATION poor old Virginia has to go through every time she enters a Starbucks because some underpaid, overworked teenage barista might misspell her name.
Out of respect for her privacy, I won’t identify the poster by name (even though she does, by posting the rant on the Starbucks HK official Facebook page, under her real name). Judging from her Facebook profile picture, this young woman is not in fact, a woman, but a piano. A sentient piano with very firm opinions about how you should and should not spell Virginia.
For example, Virginia is not spelled the same as Vagina.
This is my sister’s cuppa from your HKU branch. Fancy your staff not being able to spell an American name like Virginia.
Fancy your non-American staff in not-America not being able to spell an American name like Virginia. Virginia, as most people who are not pianos might realise, is not in fact an American name. For example, the modern state of Virginia was named such in 1584, almost 200 years before the US gained independence from Britain.
Forgiving she has been with every misspelled cup. Her cup was once “Virgin”.
Virginia may be forgiving, but this piano does not have her sister’s benevolent nature, and will not have her mistaken for anything but the experienced sexual actor she is.
Every Starbucks experience for her has been coupled with fear and anticipation. But THIS is just UNACCEPTABLE. Starbucks HK, you have to buck up or just not spell your customers’ name anyway. It is a derogatory attitude even if it is unintentional. What do you have to say about this?
Every time Virginia enters a Starbucks she does so with trepidation, her voice quavering as she tells the server her order, and, the moment of truth, her name. “Virginia” she squeaks, petrified that she will once again be humiliated by the Guardians of Coffee that she is beholden to. After handing over the requisite money, smiling hopefully at the barista, thinking perhaps that this time, this time they’ll spell my name correctly, Virginia retreats to the end of the counter. Alas, as the cup approaches her she notices an ‘a’ out of place, the lack of an ‘r’. Her face flushes red with shame and sadness. Next to her, the piano flushes red too, but with righteous fury. “THIS is UNACCEPTABLE” she hisses. Virginia, more forgiving of basic human error, insists that she not make a scene. The sisters return home, the piano still grumbling, her keys plonking out Gustav Holst’s Mars arrangement from ‘The Planets’. As Virginia retreats to her bedroom to once more curse her parents for inflicting this unspellable, curse of a name upon her, the piano rushes to her computer, unleashing a tirade of righteous anger against the benighted Starbucks empire.
(h/t: Hong Wrong)