Fresh from reporting on the government’s latest futile campaign to scrub porn from the internet, state news agency Xinhua brings us a list of the ‘Top 10 sexy nudist bathing spots around world‘.
The descriptions of the clothing-optional destinations are masterful in their Hemingway-esque clipped prose:
In many beaches, to be bare is not a problem. Greece is representative. Europeans are always full of reverence for human body, and numerous nudist bathing spots are scattered besides the blue Aegean. In other European countries, restrictions on public nudity are very relaxed. Say nothing of other countries like Netherlands, France, and Spain, even England, which is strict and conservative in some people’s eyes, possesses officially-recognized nudist beaches.
Greece is representative.
“Austrilia [sic] Lady Bay Beach is one of the legitimate nudist beaches announced by the Prime Minister in 70s.”
“Hawaii Beach is almost synonymous with “romantic” and “honeymoon”.”
It’s unclear which particular beach in Hawaii the author means (or whether she/he meant to refer to Hawaiian Beaches, an area of Big Island). Perhaps all beaches in the state of Hawaii are to be taken to be nudist beaches, aptly illustrated by stock photos of people wearing clothes.
“[Brighton Nudist Beach] is officially recognized and belongs to the clothing optional beach.”
Of all the shitty stock photos used to illustrate this gallery, this has to be my favourite. Not only is it wildly out of date, it’s also not recognisable as being Brighton beach or, and I say this as a British citizen, anywhere in the UK.
“With inconvenient traffic, it is away from the world.”
The slideshow ends with this unfinished haiku about “Sandy Bay, Cape Down” (actually Cape Town). Would that we could all get away from the world some times.
Update 12:20 CST: Not to be outdone, the Chinese-edition of the People’s Daily has published a gallery of “pretty women of the Beijing summer” (h/t: Bill Bishop).
[Top image credit: @sthacker, other images via Xinhua // Via: Gadling]