The Adult Asia Expo is an upsettingly tragic show and tell event, where wholesalers and manufacturers come along to show of their wares to potential buyers. It swung by Hong Kong the other day, so I went and took these regrettable photographs.
With posters pasted up all over Island line MTR stops, the AAE seemed like it was going to big. I even thought that it might be fun. Perhaps I’d see something new and interesting, besides the curious perversities of lonely, old men.
The banner on their website features what looks to be a pretty professional strip dancer along with some downright chaste looking discussions being had over a few flutes of champagne. At this point, I might have been convinced that the event would take place in some historically important clubhouse. That I would be puffing on a fine Cuban while a new-age cabaret performance unfolds just as the full brass band bursts into song.
Any chance the event had at class — even Playboy Mansion style ‘class’ — was stymied by the fact it was held in the Hong Kong Convention and Exhibition Centre. How much space do people need to convene and exhibit sex toys and other masturbatory aids? Well, according to the Hong Kong planners, about 12 football pitches worth of (mostly empty) space.
The AAE experience was like going to some rich kid’s bar-mitzvah, where the parents really, terribly, woefully overestimated the number of friends young Timothy would actually bring to the table. And wow, does dancing look a bad on an empty dance floor.
So here are the metaphorical ancient Auntie Goldstein’s busting out their grooves on an upsettingly empty stage.
Starting off easy, here are the female toys. Dong dong dildo gets featured purely for the fact that the word “dong” is used, twice.
Vibrators, now available in pink, black, and chode!
Real life cacti are just too god damned stationary!
Note how the gigantic dildo compares in length to a one yuan coin.
This selection of photographs are of things that you can stick your dick into.
Huggable and fuckable. Or a punching bag for a severely misguided boxer.
It was upsettingly heavy and gooey it was.
Lots of labia and a fucked up looking tit.
The “please don’t touch” sign was strewn on the floor when I looped back round.
[Image credit: Siukei Cheung for Shanghaiist]