It’s been a hell of a year for the psychopaths, the murderous, the vane, and the racists amongst us. We humbly present, in no particular order, this year’s most stand-out assholes, douchebags, lunatics, and generally terrible human beings.
10. The Hong Kong woman who publicly shamed her boyfriend in a viral video.
Ah yes, the lovely 20-year-old who was arrested after forcing her boyfriend to kneel on a Kowloon street so she could slap him around and slapped the crap out of him. Elegant.
9. Racist northern-Europeans on video.
Hello there, Holland’s Got Talent hosts who openly mocked a Chinese contestant and asked if he was going to sing “number 39 with rice.” Still pretty soft-core compared to Danish politician Fuat Yalan who wished that “all the Chinese will burn, so the world will be free of that Chinese filth.” Yeah that might be a *wee* bit worse than what some child said on Jimmy Kimmel’s show.
8. Everyone within ten miles of the Li Yianyi rape case.
Li himself, of course, gets recognized as a full-blown asshole, but it goes deeper. The Japanese porno company that made a video about the gang-rape case. The Tsinghua professor who said it’s essentially not that bad to rape bar girls. Li’s mother. Also, gang-rape.
7. Luxury car owners who staged public temper tantrums over “bad service.”
That means you, Qingdao Maserati owner who demolished his 2.6 million yuan car in a public hissy-fit. Also, looking at you, BMW owner (also in Qingdao: must be something in the water) who strapped his car to a cow because nobody would give him enough attention.
6. Anyone who went on a stabbing rampage.
Shanghaiist articles tagged with the words “Knife” or “Stab” skyrocketed in 2013, with a wave of stabbings in schools, hospitals, busses, and random streets. This summer Beijing nearly banned all knife sales to counter the raving knife-wielding hordes.
5. The 10-year-old in Chongqing who viciously beat an infant.
Earlier this month, we featured the absolutely terrifying story of a 10-year-old who attacked, beat, and threw an infant down an elevator shaft in Chongqing. Christ.
4. The Shanghai couple accused of selling their infant daughter online for an iPhone.
Elaboration unnecessary. Assholes.
3. Anyone who chopped off someone’s penis.
Whether you severed another man’s schlong for sleeping with your wife, castrated your husband to “preserve your marriage,” or snipped-off a toddler’s penis because you’re crazy, you’re also an asshole.
2. State-media editorials.
For helping to push China small bits closer to nationalistic fervor and pointless war. Great Britain is “just an old European country apt for travel and study.” Draconian censorship laws are the only thing holding society back from chaos. China should go to war against everyone, all of the time, forever. “Leftover” women are helpless, alone. Also, Japan. Hats off to you, Global Times and Xinhua!
1. That freaking psycho who killed five puppies with his bare hands in Jinan.
Congradulations, Jinan puppy-murderer, you are the Shanghaiist Asshole of the Year©!