When about to compose yesterday’s Assholes of the Year post, this author wanted to add in a few government officials. It turns out that the quantity of officials who would fall into the center of a Bureaucrat/Asshole venn-diagram is staggering, so we’ve decided to give the country’s worst government workers a list of their own. Here are the rapists, sociopaths, and incompetents who—by freak coincidence, I’m sure—choose to enroll in China’s wonderful civil service.
10. The Henan officials who ran a woman over with their government car, and didn’t step out because it was “too hot.”
Yes, this summer’s heatwave was a bit of a bitch, but that’s hardly an excuse for the Henan officials who “just sat in their car laughing” after they got into a collision with a pedestrian.
9. Bo Xilai
By the end of 2012, anyone could have guessed—and plenty of people did—what was going to happen to Bo Xilai. Rigged trial, life sentence. And that’s exactly what did happen, except Señor Bo dragged out the proceedings for days, with defiance, affairs, and weird hand gestures, not to mention “African Meat.” It’s as though Bo didn’t even think about the carpal-tunnel he was giving to Shanghaiist’s trial live-bloggers.
8. The Hunan officials who mocked a cancer-riddled petitioner.
Big smiles. Peace signs. The quote “the photos were taken by his [the petitioner’s] wife as the officials were attempting to drag him away.” Everything.
7. Party secretary who claimed to “have fathered half the kids” in his village.
You can take your one-child-policy and shove it, because local Henan Party secretary Da Wan says that, “[in] this village, half the kids are mine.” He would, apparently, wait for a woman’s husband to leave for work before swooping in to make his next “conquest”.
6. Officials who try to doctor their photos and can’t even do that right.
If you’re going to slack off at your job, fine. If you’re going to then publish doctored photos that show you were working hard, I can see where you’re coming from. But if you don’t even have the patience to learn proper Photoshop skillz, and you start giving us shit like this, I have no pity.
5. The 200,000 yuan wedding extravaganza.
In July, as Xi Jinping’s anti-extravagance crack-down started to look like it actually might be going somewhere, the Party head of an impoverished Hebei town decided to throw his daughter a wedding party worth 200,000 yuan. Fortunately (and unlike many officials on this list) he was later sacked.
4. The flood-zone piggyback ride.
A lovely official surnamed Wang was fired after he visited a flooded town in Zhejiang, and received a piggy-back ride from a local in order to avoid spoiling his shoes. He presumably shouted “Mush, boy!” during the inspection.
3. The lobster-eating, citizen-hating Hebei official.
It was essentially the “Mitt Romney 47% speech” for China. A Hebei party chief was videotaped describing “citizens” as being “disgusting and shameful,” while he ate lobster at a private banquet. The man was later dismissed from his position, presumably for being disgusting and shameful.
2. The group of Shanghai judges who went on a prostitute-hiring spree.
Five judges from a top court in Shanghai were caught in August after security-camera video showed the group hiring prostitutes in a nightclub and bringing them back to their hotel rooms. Several of the judges were either suspended or expelled from the Party, even the one who tried to claim that, because he was too drunk to get it up, the whole thing shouldn’t count.
This year featured the thrice-mistress raping Hunan police director, the child-raping Jiangsu work safety bureaucrat, and the death-threatening sex-coercing Henan official. Also worthy mention to the Jiangxi mayor who said that she “wouldn’t sue” if her daughter were raped by a teacher, and that rape victims should “endure in silence.” Assholes, the lot of them.