Reuters recently released this amusing vid on a Chinese sperm extraction device (a ‘masturb-aider’ if you will) which mimics a female vagina to help reluctant seed donors get those ‘creative juices’ flowing. The only problem – we ran this story back in 2011. Oh well, the out-of-place, Attenborough-esque British narration makes it all worth it.
They do give us a good look at the device, created by the Jiangsu Sanwe Medical Science and Technology Center, which is equipped with a massage tube resembling a vagina. As we described before, it’s speed, temp, and height are reportedly adjustable. Yes, truly at the forefront of the ‘jizz biz’ here.
And if that wasn’t enough to stimulate you, it sports a screen on which you can play your favorite pornos. We definitely think they should consider this for the notoriously bashful panda. You know, help them pump out that endangered baby batter by letting them have a ‘go’ while watching “Kung Fu Poonda 2” and “Eats, Shoots, and Leaves.”
Gotta love how they lined them up like seductive StairMasters.
This ‘inverted vibrator’ is available at Shanghai Pudong hospital for urological patients who have trouble producing sperm/degenerate Shanghaiist readers who are going to flock there after reading this post. No need boys, you can buy it on Alibaba.
Commence obvious misogynistic jokes on how this machine will make girlfriends obsolete…..har har.
[Video via Reuters]
By Nick Peregrine