Of all the things China could be short of, nobody would think sperm would be one of them, would they? You know, with the whole problem of gender imbalance and the availability of rentable girlfriends for Chinese New Year, you would think there would be an abundance of guys available to, er, donate.
And yet! Last Tuesday, Jiefang Daily released a shocking public notice, stirring heated debate online and drawing pointed interest from certain circles:
Urgent! Urgent! Shanghai’s sperm bank is in a state of emergency! Urgently enlisting donors, each and every donor can receive a iPhone 6S as payment!
But is it true? Is the bank running low? Well, the man in charge of the sperm bank, Chen Xiangfeng, completely refuted the rumors. Ever since the bank’s appearance in 2003, it has consistently been running into problems of supply and demand, and since the new governmental policy allowing couples to have two children was announced, the bank’s supply has been even more hard-pressed. But is the situation as dire as people fear? Far from it, according to Chen.
Phew! So not a dire dry spell for Shanghai. But don’t worry! There is still a need for more donors! Around two or three years ago, China’s collective sperm banks decided to up the ante and encouraged people to become donors by offering better rewards. Currently, assuming you pass the tests and become a fully-fledged donor, the highest amount you can be paid in Shanghai is 6,000 RMB, AKA the price of one iPhone 6S.
But the shortages of donors has not been cured by better incentives offered by banks, as it seems the rate of people passing the physical examinations required is declining, with three quarters failing the examinations.
But don’t give up guys, you might still be able to get the iPhone of your dreams. If that doesn’t work, how about renting out your girlfriend or if you’re looking for an iPad, try simply swapping a kidney?
Btw, Shanghai hospitals would also like your poop.
By Kitty Lai
[Images via JFdaily]