We have no doubt that Chinese inventors will soon rule the world. Don't believe us? Well, just take a look at this video. Some wonderful company in Jiangsu has apparently invented a sperm collecting machine. Great! With this machine, now sperm banks around the world no longer need to get donors to "do it yourself". The machine boasts of a cylinder pump which they say feels like a vajayjay inside. Like it tighter? Looser? Faster? Slower? All of that, and the height of the pump itself is adjustable. There's also a screen that can play you your favourite porn in a wide variety of file formats while the machine pumps the baby batter out of you. This machine is supposedly great for sufferers of premature ejaculation because it helps to desensitise the penis. Any PE patients out there? Get one from their Alibaba store for the great price of US$2,800 and tell us if it works! more ›

Chinese farmer Wu Yulu came from an impoverished village outside of Beijing and did not have the chance to attain secondary education, but this did not stop him from teaching himself to build robots. This video features Wu's "30 second son" (as he affectionately calls it), a walking, talking, rickshaw-pulling robot which he says is now dearer to him than his own son. Having accidentally burnt down his own house and plunged his family into debt in the process of experimenting with robots, Wu has been hailed by the media as "China's cleverest farmer-inventor" and now works with universities and robotics companies, travelling around China to exhibit his creations. more ›