So, things aren’t exactly off to an auspicious start for the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio de Janerio, from ongoing Zika scares to butchered hands washing up on white sand beaches.
Same thing for the Chinese national team. The basketball team has been annihilated not once but twice by the Americans, the fencing team has been the victim of an attempted robbery and everyone still thinks their opening ceremony uniforms look silly.
The latest and certainly grossest misfortune has befallen a Chinese hurdler by the name of Shi Dongpeng, along with a journalist accompanying the athlete. The two were robbed upon their arrival at a hotel in Rio in a rather ingenious if disgusting scheme.
The cunning criminal decided that the best way to distract Shi would be to unleash the entire contents of his stomach on the surprised athlete.
< Immediately following that puke fest, Shi rushed to the bathroom to clean himself up as the journalist chased away the "assailant." When both men reconvened in the hotel lobby, to their dismay, they discovered that their belongings had mysteriously disappeared. According to the International Sports Press Association, the pair then watched surveillance video of the incident. They looked on as the journalist ran out of the hotel to catch the “drunk,” while that man’s accomplice quickly entered the hotel and grabbed their stuff.
The two realized that they had been the victims of the perfect crime. They went to report that crime at a local police station at around 2 a.m., only to find themselves behind a long line of people waiting to report crimes of their own. Hopefully, no one else reeking of vomit.
Couldn’t get any worse?
By Robin Winship