When you gotta go, you gotta go.
Unfortunately for one Chinese thief, that moment came when he was in the middle of robbing a house.
The 39-year-old man surnamed Zhang from Henan told a Beijing court yesterday that he simply couldn’t hold it, the Beijing Times reports. Rather than try to make it to the bathroom, Zhang took a dump right beside the poor victim’s bed. Think of it as a trade?
This being the age of CSI, the critical clump of evidence turned out to be Zhang’s downfall. Beijing police extracted DNA from the poop and matched it to Zhang, who already had a criminal record, receiving a 3-year prison sentence for theft in 2008.
This time, it doesn’t look like Zhang will get off so easy. Thanks to that fateful dump, he has been charged with a whopping 286 cases of theft and 1 case of robbery over the past 4 years. It’s not clear how Beijing police managed to link Zhang to 300 odd thefts, we assume that he didn’t leave his calling card at each one.
Zhang did reveal that his life of crime hasn’t exactly made him rich. “The money I steal is mainly for food and going to internet cafes to watch movies,” he told the court. He has only a primary school education and said that he was tired of working, so thought he’d try his hand at burglary instead.
He stole from rural homes late at night in Henan and Beijing, taking anything he saw that looked valuable — bus cards, shoes, embroidery. His one robbery occurred last February, when he entered a home, stole 50 RMB, and was spotted by the victim. He then threatened the 63-year-old woman with a knife and took off with her earrings and 10 more RMB.
A decision in the case has yet to be announced.
[h/t What’s on Weibo]